The weather forecast is bleak; dark times, wind, and rain
A storm of sorts if you will, battered houses, physical pain
Eroded egos, trampled thoughts, utter chaos uncontained
Fabricated facts, misguided minions, universal secrets unsustained
Carefully planned chaos, people created past conventional pattern
Prepared terror placed terrifically perfect, theoretical pretenses tattered
Traditions stopped through specifics tactics, security tremendously shattered
Spiritually missing, suspect motives shown; misguidance suddenly mattered
As despair crawled across the land, the sun no longer rising
The trees withered, bare and broken, the root indeed surprising
The world was lost, the blame was spread; the situation compromising
No one knew what destroyed humanity, so began the analyzing

Scientists of old and philosophers of new sat in a row and conversed
Notions bouncing off white walls, lost in their intellect, submersed
While tempers flared, pulses raced, their individual intentions, adverse
All progress negated, judgement soon clouded; the collective movement dispersed
Political leaders and educated theologists, on one point they all convened
Fortune tellers, prophets, even magicians, all could be found on scene
As the massive summit discerned the cause, the real error could not be seen
The peaceful aura was displaced by chaos, and only one man had foreseen
The gentleman had vision beyond his eyes, his years, and any other normal source
His gift was given, cultivated, mastered used for bad and good, of course
He had a message, though cleverly delivered, could not be accepted by force
So he found his platform, gave his solution, cared not whether they endorsed:

“Everything that keeps humanity pure, is slowly becoming a fable
Notions of love and trust are jokes, relationships are becoming unstable
The connections we daily made for friendship, now it seems we’re unable
Now we want things instantly, hoping to be spoon fed by life’s ladle
Gratified instantly has become life’s new mantra, a world obviously lost
Using others to get our goal, selfish driven actions, disregarding the cost
Push one down, to pull self up; sacrifice your bridge as long as I get across
Pushing a higher power down, is what obviously has humanity at a loss
See the issue is bigger than one thing, it’s a clear combination of fail
There’s no need for an afterlife, when we’re in a living, breathing hell
We’re dooming ourselves to purgatory, our souls given out at wholesale
We’d rather laugh at our “celebrities”, than pay attention to life’s details

Rather look up to another with fame and success, than our own reflection
Rather blindly follow media leaders and expect of them, perfection
Rather obsess over the next big thing, until after closer inspection
The moment the fault unfolds, earthquakes shake images from recollection
They’re only great for that moment, then the butt of all jest
Momentarily society’s favorite, at the price of a lifetime of unrest
We wonder why talent is dying, because appreciation is becoming a contest
Perfection is a requirement, the first slip up and you’re viewed as less
Why destroy someone that, at one point in time, you viewed as a guide
Why project your dreams on another, then get mad at them, because you never tried
Why avoid the mirror, delaying having to admit to yourself, you have lied
Why attack another’s hard work, when your own soul’s eyes haven’t dried

Yes, your soul needs attention, but it needs it from the proper place
Doing the “cool” thing to fit in is only temporary and often displaced
Some hoops I’ve seen other’s jump through, only leaves them soon disgraced
The best attention comes from within, your own soul you should embrace
Don’t hold on so tight that, to the outside, you’re unaware
Why should it take an extreme case, to suddenly make you care
A child struck with AIDS, restricted to a clean room kept bare
Suddenly AIDS is an epidemic, you arm with pamphlets and info to share
Should a small child have to be raped to make you a better parent
Why do you never realize how much they mean to you, until the death of a grandparent
Why must a celebrity be abused for domestic violence to become apparent
Should you be left twelve times for being ‘too closed up’, to make you emotionally transparent

I’m sure you think you’ll be hurt again, so you have no reason to rush
But bad experiences in your past should teach you, not become a personal life crutch
Life is painted with pain and cheer, both with the same exact brush
A full life is lived with a fading vital idea, this idea is known as trust
I sometimes question why this notion is amongst a dying breed
Entrenched in a war of ‘Trust vs. Fear’ where everyday the former concedes
The more that it retreats, directly affect, the more humanity’s heart bleeds
With each day the pulse grows weaker, this damning path we lead
Our bladders began to shut down as we piss away our net worth
Our kidneys no longer function, unable to filter our evil’s girth
Overdosing on our own toxins, the liver suffers the same fate as earth
Inhaling our moral pollution, our lungs take our last breath since birth

We’ve been brain dead for years now, even our death order screams insanity
We’d show up late for our own funeral, with our mortician named Vanity
Even while reading this eulogy, we’re still headed for a monstrous calamity
R.I.P. Trust, R.I.P. Love, but most depressing of all, R.I.P. Humanity


The Damned by Larry Hawkins II is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at dosequis06.wordpress.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at lgh.2nd@gmail.com.

Those following me on twitter know that we (me and T) went to Baltimore this past weekend. She and a coworker were going for training, and I was just going along to spend time with her. We were supposed to fly out Friday morning, meet up in Memphis then fly to Baltimore together. Little did she know, I had plans of proposing on the plane over the plane's speaker system 35,000 ft in the air. Well that was the initial plan anyway:

Friday actually started out terrible for us both. I landed in Memphis to find out that they missed their flight because the white girl, her coworker, wasn’t ready. They weren’t gonna be able to head out until 12 and this would take them through ATL. They had a chance with being on standby for a 245 flight, then standby for a 405 flight both leaving from ATL heading to Baltimore. However, they weren't schedule to land until about 220 local time. By 12 I was already in Baltimore trying to figure out how to waste time and pretty pissed cuz there went my proposal plan.

Well while they made their way toward ATL and eventually catching the 405 flight to Baltimore, I was chillin in Ruby Tuesday across the street from our hotel. Eventually I got her to call and get me access to the room and tried to revamp my plan. I devised a plan that involved me ordering dessert from room service and having them place the ring under the metal covering. One problem, the hotel didn’t have room service (it was mainly a hotel that serviced breakfast for their pilot/attendant clientele), so that scratched that idea. Next idea was to take her out to the harbor and propose there. One problem, couldn’t go to the harbor because the coworker was with us too. She was going to be going out with us wherever we went since technically it was their trip. So while looking around the room I got an idea involving different parts of the room and the notepad that the hotel provided. 

I grabbed the notepad and started considering how I could send her on a scavenger hunt around the room. The room had a safe which was obviously the best place for the hunt to end. I walked over to the sink, noticed the coffee maker, and an idea hit me. I decided to write small notes on the pad and place it on different items, each note would have sweet meaningful words and point her to the next object. Couple examples: 

Coffee maker – “You're my life’s morning coffee, the spark that starts my day”
Table – “You’re the legs that support me, without you I’d fall on my face”
Toilet – “You’re my relief when times are hard, and you always put up with my shit.” 

This went on from the coffee maker, to the fridge, to the toilet, to the drawer, to the couch, to the table, to the safe. So then I texted her and told her that I bought her a small gift as a “pick me up” since she had had a long day with all the traveling. This gave her a reason to be on a scavenger hunt without getting suspicious as to what was at the end of the trail.

So she arrives, feeling very tired and angry about her day, and I tell her to start at the coffee maker. She looks at me with the "what are you up to" look she gives me but follows my directions. She eventually gets to the outside of the safe, and it says, “You keep all my secrets safe”. The directions on the note tell her to look inside the safe. The door opens and she just stands there frozen. Caught by complete surprise, she just looks on the inside where the ring is sitting with a note that says “So will you be my wife?”.  She keeps lookin from me to the ring to me to the ring saying my name over and over almost scared to touch it. Eventually she grabs the ring and puts it on with a huge smile on. Smiling and walking towards me, she says "Yes", and that was the wonderful ending to a pretty bad day.

The Snake: Fear

If you were to see a snake for the first time, you would think it’s harmless. Snakes are seemingly harmless in statue. They slither around, not really aiming to bother anyone, unless your name is Ratatouille. They’re usually quiet, which allows them to get from one place to another somewhat undetected. It’s only after you find out what it can do to you, that you understand its danger. Snakes don’t usually attack humans unless we cross into their territory. Completely disregard the movie Anaconda, that doesn’t really happen…or so I’m told. Of course you have some snakes that can take out full grown elephants, but those are the severe cases. See, the group that is must susceptible to snakes, would be the small creatures. The only reason they’re in the most danger, is because of the perspective.

Small animals have the biggest reason to fear snakes because, in relation to the snake, they’re the same size or smaller. If you’ve ever seen a snake eat a small animal, there’s three stages to the process. In the ideal circumstance, the snake sneaks up on its prey and entraps it. This trap could consist of encircling it, or catching it in its mouth. The second stage involves the snake biting its prey. From the prey’s perspective, this paralyzes them. If you’re a small chick, when you’re bitten by the snake, your instincts tell you that it’s only a matter of time before you’re done for. Some animals will accept their fate and become paralyzed with fear; other animals will fight back, some successfully disengaging the fangs and running away, others not. The last stage, if you’re still entrapped, is the digestion. The snake slowly consumes the prey, suffocating it until it no longer has the life to go on.

I apologize for the graphic nature of this, but it is essential to understand this snake-prey relationship to understand the point. Our relationship with fear is every similar to that of the snake and prey. Sometimes fear sneaks up on us, when it comes to relationships. We wind up in situations or arguments that sometimes get out of control before know it. Other times fear surrounds us, and we soon become confused at what to do. Past relationships contribute to this form of fear very often. Our current relationship could be running smoothly and suddenly you realize your significant other is starting to resemble someone from your past. Suddenly, you’re afraid that things will turn out like they did in the past.

This is where the next stage comes in, letting the fear paralyze you. Once you become aware of the situation and its repercussions if things go wrong, your relationship can become stagnant. Due to your fear of things going wrong, you’ll stop progressing with your significant other. A successful relationship is a continually growing phenomenon. Anything that hinders growth, between the two of you, is a detriment to your happiness. So when fear paralyzes you, while you worry what could happen, the bond that was growing between you, is suddenly on hold. What good is a relationship if you’re not growing together? Would you really want to be in a relationship where the bond you have now is the same as it was two years ago? Of course not.

Which leads to the last stage, where the fear consumes you. In the case of the prey, once the snake consumes it, the digestive juices begin to dissolve the prey and it regresses until it is no more. Similarly, once fear consumes your relationship, it is only a matter of time before it regresses until it ends. When you are consumed by fear, you go from being hesitant about something to completely unwilling to do it. It starts with physical actions, and transforms into not being able to trust each other. Why can’t you trust? Because the fear has consumed your heart and you’re scared. Most people are afraid of repeating their past mistakes, afraid of being hurt again, or afraid of being manipulated. All of these things are part of the risk you take when you trust someone. So if fear convinces you not to trust, it’s slowly sucking the life out of your relationship. A relationship without trust, isn’t a relationship. It’s an association.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the biggest beast of the three.

I wrote this while listening to "Fear" by Drake. After a while, I switched to the instrumental and it's been playing non-stop since this time yesterday. Very inspiration track. Anyway, here's the finished product. I'll let you do your own analyzing. Even the title holds a meaning beyond the obvious. I hope you enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed writing it. #shoutout to my baby, for being the inspiration for it. Also to Dana for making me reconsider two lines that came out much better than the first draft.

Surrounded on all sides, no gaps no doors
Only ropes for walls, no ceiling no floors
Eyesight of darkness, far as I can see
I'm facing no one, but she who faces me
The fights already over, it didn't even begin
Destiny had it rigged, there was no way to win
She had control, I had to listen
She had the lesson, but it I kept missin'
I traveled in a circle, but was trapped in a square
I was taken advantage of, but tried to repair
Looked around for help, none to be found
One last place, stop looking at the ground
Knocked down to one knee, been there for a while
The message was clear, Lord please help your child
Send me my guidance, I'm tired of doing wrong
He sent me a woman, and she redefined strong

And so began the story, of when he met she
She liked him, but a we couldn't be
See, he had a her and a her plus three
And she had a him, but the him wasn't he
The problem, you see, was his only decree
Aim to please only he, and the things he could see
But she made him care, he made her care-free
His soul he bared, still in control? barely
More time they put in, the more interest grew
They shared life accounts, a joint ventured brewed
No fine print on contract, all motives true
A long term investment, no short return due
All past transgressions, all those are through
All the way in, all fears subdued
Stumbles here or there, fears were renewed
But nothing could prepare them for that which ensued

Whirlwind love, you see it took them by storm
Took the unbeaten path, so they went against the norm
Eros, Philos, Agape, they were batting three for three
Other worldly love, not a telescope could see
A family man at heart, he had finally found his queen
The Nala of his domain, there'd be no lyin from this king
Ten months from day one, they were both jacked up from the rush
Always his ace in the hole, she's like his life's royal flush
Not all anomalies, can be considered a system glitch
Roads can end the same, despite the times you switch
Three rounds with your opponent, can lead to destiny
Only takes one chance moment, to meet your Trinity
So take the past for what it is, a lesson for the time
Take heed of all the notes, give care to all the signs
Hold your future free of guilt, if your past did the crime
Love this strong only comes once, in 48 lifetimes

I'm still getting footprints across my site.

To everyone who comes here looking for me, I apologize.

You can occasionally find me here: http://dosequis06.wordpress.com

You can definitely find me here daily: http://www.twitter.com/dosequis06

That is all.....

I've always considered myself a very intuitive guy, one of the side benefits of being a Scorpio. Whether it be from making decisions at the spur of the moment, or dealing with someone I have never met before. Either way, I've always been able to rely on my intuition, if I didn't have first/second hand experience to draw from. This, in itself, is nothing new or special. Not a blog-worthy phenomenon, to say the least. However, recently I've found myself in "a different place" in life. With no guide, except.....my intuition.

Anyone who has known me for even a brief stint of time, knows me as a guy who has his head set on where he's going at all times. You know how you're maintaining a conversation with an older person and they always ask, especially students still in college, what do you plan to do when you graduate? This is where the normal person begins to ramble with dreams of graduating, getting a job, managing their own company(if that's your cup of tea), and retiring at *insert age here*. They tend to skip over the whole, raise a family, argue with their teenage child, go through a mid-life crisis, etc. The fun parts of life.

I'll admit that even I have fallen into that category. Having my life plans laid out, knowing I want to be an engineer and run my own computer company servicing all needs of the computer. Sort of like a one-stop shop for electronics. In fact, I can still pursue that at some point in my life if I want. However, I've found myself in a dilemma. I've recently decided to pursue my MBA, upon graduation, compared to going to grad school for Microprocessors. Which is a big change in the grand scheme of things. One choice, give me flexibility for management positions and dealing with people. Which, happens to be my forte and my eventual niche in life. The other, allows me to Enter into the engineering world as a hardcore engineer specializing in microprocessors and eventually nanotechnology.

So where does the "living on intuition" part come in? Well, by going to grad school, I put myself in a position to follow my original life path of owning my own business. Something I've dreamed about since I was a young child. However, one day as I was going throughout my day, I got the notion that an MBA is a much better decision for myself. Where did this notion come from? I'm not quite sure. However, I feel deep down that this is the route I should take, I'm just not sure why.

The same goes for my decision to start seeing my old counselor again. I feel perfectly fine, I don't have any thoughts of suicide or depression, or unhappy about my life, etc. I actually feel happier about my life now than I have ever before. However, something tells me that going to see her and hold various conversations with her will allow me to transcend to that next level of life. I don't know what that next level is, how or when it will come, or even why I'm trying to get to this invisible place. I just know that my intuition is telling me I need to be there, therefore, I follow.

It somewhat feels like the blind leading the blind. Except one of us really is blind, the other just has on a blindfold that can be removed at will. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, for me, I'm not the one with the blindfold on.

Can be summed up in this song....



Enough said.....